guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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