I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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