he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
