wat bout pragnant strippers??
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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