They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
