So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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