A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
