Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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