I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
did i walk over a car last night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
