You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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