You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that š I went with "no"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept saying ākekeā over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case youāre wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He graduated. Heās not my GA anymore. Heās just the 24 year old thatās helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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