Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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