i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Still dying that you shit outside
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
