we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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