Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
