1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
