My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
