Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
