You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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