how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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