ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
