and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
