I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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