Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
