I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
