Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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