they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
