We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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