I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize