none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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