So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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