9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
