he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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