He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
