It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
