At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
