My boss' voice literally gives me gas
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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