The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
