she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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