how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
