don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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