Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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