I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
