I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ugly people sure do ruin things
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
