Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
