I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
accomplished twins. life is a go
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
