So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
