Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
