he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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