these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
