I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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