and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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