She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
