I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
