My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
