Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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