If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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