I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
