Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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