i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude. I can hear the air.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
