ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Randomize
