I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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