You're completely useless in the revolution.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize