take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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