Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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