only if we run a train.
done.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
