omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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