Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
