so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
