Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
