I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
