just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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